A failed marriage is a catastrophic condition, and moving on from it often takes forever. Naturally, a second marriage is a bold step and when it comes to planning the wedding, it gets all the more difficult. There is a lot of thought involved in planning your second wedding; considering the rules and opinions which have been set by people over the years. So how do you decide what you want for your second wedding when there are all these factors that block you from thinking straight? Here’s a quick guide on how to go about planning and executing it in a grand way like you did on your first attempt. So let’s hope it makes things easier for you!
1. Check with the church
If you have been divorced and are planning to have the second wedding in church; ensure that you check your church arrangements properly before the actual wedding day. Corroborate all of your formalities with the ecclesiastic way. Check whether your church permits remarriages or not. If not, you may want to opt for a non-denominational minister. Make sure everything is as planned as it was earlier in the first ceremony. Don’t let any loop holes spoil your special day!
2. Dress up in style
Majority of people want to keep their second wedding a simple affair because they’ve already had a grand one the first time. Also, a second wedding for most brides is usually more about starting a new life with a new person than about expensive dresses and extravagant decor. If you want to dress up delicate yet poised, opt for sophisticated gleaming attire that would maintain the politesse of the event and at the same time will also make you look like the show stopper of the day. There is nothing that can keep you away from having a grand wedding if you want to. There is a wide color range available in the market to choose from; you can also pick a color except white, if you have worn a white dress for your first marriage. At the end, it’s your day and you ought to look the best of all.
3. Announcing it to your children and ex-husband/wife
Your children should be the first ones to know about your second marriage. It’s especially hard on children seeing their parents remarry and hiding it from them won’t do any good. Make sure that they are fine with your step by having your new partner spend time with them. It’s the time that they need a lot of love and a sense of security from your end. You can then ask them if they want to share the news with your ex-spouse themselves or whether they prefer that you share it with him/her. However, if you have no children from your first marriage, it is all up to you whether you want to inform your ex-spouse or not. A letter or an email with the wedding news works for most people.
4. Keeping the children closer
If you have children from your first marriage, it is usually nice to get them involved with the wedding preparations. However it is of utmost importance that you ask them if they want to get involved in the first place. It usually takes time for a child to accept a new parent. If children are willing to get involved, giving them a special task makes them feel important & special. If your child is good at art & craft, make him/her help you out with the décor and other stuff. Encourage inputs from them on decisions related to the wedding e.g. ask them what flavor they’d like the cake to be, what band is better, what they’d like to be, selecting the menu etc. Make them feel as if they are as much a part of the wedding as you are. Depending on age, if it’s a girl, you can make her a flower girl, a junior bridesmaid or the maid of honor. A boy can be the ring bearer or the groomsman or even the best man. You can ask your ex-spouse whether he/she is okay with you putting the child’s name on invitation cards.
5. Registering for wedding gifts
It is an accepted belief that gifts are not compulsory for a second wedding. This has stemmed from the idea that since the person is getting married for the second time, the couple would already have setup a household and won’t require a lot of things. But this need not be followed. You can always have gifts for your second wedding and can register for them just like you did the first time. You may want to register for something different this time- like hobby or sports related gifts or even something for the honeymoon! Bring in the charm again and do what you actually wish for and remember not to get hesitated anytime.
6. Bridal shower
Just as gifts aren’t so common in a second wedding, so aren’t bridal showers. But if your friends still want to throw you one, try doing something different this time. Because at the end, experimentation with the monotonous structure always brings smiles. A bridal shower doesn’t have to be in a room; you can go horse-riding, skiing or rock climbing or just visit a park. You can always open the gifts later, once you’ve come back home. Opt for unique bridal shower themes like a lingerie theme, a kitchen or a beach theme! It will surely add a zing to your endeavor.
7. Who will pay?
If it is the first wedding for the bride but the second one for the groom, the parents of the bride would want to chip in for the wedding. But if it is the second wedding for both, it is usually both the bride & the groom that split the expenses equally amongst themselves. It is not good etiquette to ask parents & relatives to chip in irrespective of whether they did it the first time. However, if they offer to contribute themselves, you may accept their help. If the both of you handle the expenses on your own, you tend to feel free to make decisions while planning the wedding. There is not much input from the parents’ end. Be careful though, and stick to your budget.
8. Put the past behind
As mentioned earlier, you don’t really need to follow a lot of rules for your second wedding but there is one exceptional rule. Second weddings are about putting your past behind and starting a new life, so do NOT compare your first wedding to your second one. Try doing something different for your second wedding but you don’t have to go overboard to change everything. Some things are always going to be the same. Do not say or think stuff like, “In my first wedding, the centerpieces were…”. The common guests will always compare your second wedding to the first and you cannot really stop them from doing that. You have to accept this fact and live happily, while planning the wedding. Because at the end; it’s you and your family who matter the most.