As soon as the euphoria of the proposal settles down, every man must face the inevitable reality that behind every giggly girl flashing her new engagement ring is a Bridezilla waiting to make you wonder whether this is the same woman that you fell in love with. We don’t have any statistics to show whether the myth of the Bridezilla has anything to do with men having become so averse to marriage but if you are the marrying kinds and have been lucky enough to find the perfect girl for you, you might wanna arm yourself with a few handy pointers on how you can survive life with a Bridezilla.
Anticipate the arrival of the Bridezilla
Just like a woman in labor, a woman trying to plan her dream wedding is hardly accountable for the stress that she causes to her near and dear ones in the process of planning the wedding. Since a wedding is taken to reflect more on the tastes and personalities of brides more than grooms, women are often under immense pressure to ensure that each element of the wedding is just perfect. This often leaves women irritable, self-absorbed, short-tempered and highly irrational as well. To avoid being shocked and awed by the phenomenon, you must anticipate that your sweet fiancé will at some point during the wedding planning, will turn into a Bridezilla. Once you acknowledge and accept this fact, dealing with the mood swings and the yelling will be a lot easier for you.
Treat her like a princess even if you don’t want to
When dealing with a Bridezilla, you have got to remember that this is just a temporary phase in her life and that she won’t be the same monster the rest of her life. So make the effort and treat her like a princess. Spoil her and entertain her whims as much as you can. Not only will this calm her down, it will also help you gain her trust and loyalty in the long run.
Smile and nod
The last thing you wanna do in the presence of a Bridezilla is to fuel the fire when she is having one of her freak outs. When she is going through a mini meltdown about any little mundane detail of the wedding, just smile, nod and tell her that she looks skinny and should put in a little weight. Not only will that get you a tonne of brownie points and maybe even reward sex, it will also ease some of the pressure on her as well.
Safety in numbers: rope in her family and friends
Even though you might wanna feel like being there for your bride at every step of the day, there will be days when you just won’t be able to meet the demands of the Bridezilla. At the first moment that you start to feel overwhelmed, rope in her family and friends and whatever family and friends from your own side that you feel are emotionally mature enough to handle her during the time. Not only will this get you yelled at less, it will also give the necessary down time to relax and regroup.
Negotiate, especially on the financial front
If you have decided to foot the bill for the wedding, you might wanna learn to negotiate at every step that you can. Instead of contemplating selling you Star Wars memorabilia to pay for her dream honeymoon, give her a budget-friendly alternative that incorporates all the fun activities that you know she likes.
Vent to non-mutual friends
No matter how patient a man you are, there will be days when you would just feel like smashing and breaking things and bitch about your bride to be to someone. When this moment comes, vent in front of non-mutual friends preferably over alcohol so that none of you remember a lot. Having a safe circle of friends to express your desperation with will help you keep your mental balance and give you the strength to deal with Bridezilla better.
Listen to your Bridezilla
If you have been a relationship long enough to propose, you know that women love to complain to their men about every little thing that appears to be wrong in their lives. This fact won’t magically go away when your fiancé turns into a Bridezilla. When she is stressed out about the wedding, offer her a safe place where she can vent her feelings and complain about everyone from her mother to the unruly two year old page boy! Just remember not to advice her when she is venting.
Dull the senses
With a wedding around the corner (be it a few years or a few days), the control freak Bridezilla is sure to be under a lot of stress at all times. Try taking her mind off the wedding planning even if you have to kidnap her and take her to a weekend getaway without her will. By giving her a break from the wedding planning, you might be able to catch a break from her monstrous ways yourself.
If your Bridezilla really has gone a little too far over the edge, it may be good idea to hold an intervention to let her know that he needs to relax a little bit. Round up her bridesmaids, family and anyone that is dear to her. Perhaps hearing about her extreme ways from every member of the bridal party might help her see the truth that you alone cannot get her to face.
When your bride to be becomes a Bridezilla, and you find yourself being constantly battered and abused, a strategically timed “shock” can help her regain her senses. Don’t threaten to leave or call off the wedding every time you feel overwhelmed by her maniac ways, but at the moment when you just can’t take it anymore, put your foot down in no uncertain terms or put up a little Groomzilla show to blow off a little steam to shock and awe your Bridezilla into normalcy.
Get professional help
Don’t be shy about asking for professional help the moment you start to feel too overwhelmed to handle your Bridezilla alone. Go to a couples counseling or seek help from a support group that counsels Bridezillas.
Remember that it’s the stress talking not her
More than anything else, the key to surviving a Bridezilla is to remember that her madness is driven by stress and her hurtful words are the sentiments of a stressed out control freak not the woman underneath.