Marriage is in itself a great challenge to maintain successfully. Things become more pathetic when you are supposed to prove yourself as an impressive daughter in law. Actually there is a never ending strife between a mother in law and a daughter in law. In such an alien ground you might feel that we are trying to make a utopia come true. But if you take our suggestion it is not at all a tough job. You need to be a bit strategic and hold your patience. Things will always be in your favor and your mother in law will treasure you as the best daughter in law ever born.
Have your impression created beforehand
Gone are those days when couples met for the first time at the wedding alter. Now, the increasing number of love marriages and courtship periods before wedding daughters in law always get the benefit. Tell us tell you how. Since, you are blessed with a good couple of days, months or years until you finally get into the wedlock so you can capitalize this time in between. Your husband to be will be your greatest friend in this regard. Inquire your would be husband about your mother in law, her tastes, likes and dislikes so that you can get your behavior custom made and create impression on her when you finally get married. But at the same time your would-be spouse is also expected to create a firsthand impression of your personality, lifestyle, likes and dislikes to mother in law so that none of you suffer from shattered dreams later on.
Frequent visits matter
It is important that you visit your mother in law often. You might not like the ambiance at all in the initial stages. Or she might even feel it awkward to see you every now and then. But remember, this is the only way to let her know that you are concerned about her. As time passes she will also get into the habit of frequent face to face contact with you and start believing that you feel for her. This is a magic for creating impression on her. But all you need for this is patience.
Son mother relationship should stay unaltered
After the marriage of their sons the mothers suffer from insecurity and inferiority complexes that the sons will forget their once loving mom’s and find all the pleasure of the world in their wives. This gets reflected in the form of anger towards their daughters in law. Hence, the relationship of these two women in the life of a man is at the receiving end. Don’t let this happen in your case too. Ensure that your husband calls up, mails or sends messages to his mother often. Ask him to show more concern than ever for his mother. This will create an impression in your mother in law and she will be thankful to have a daughter in law who has not captured the whole world of her son.
Treat her as your mother
Most of the times we fail to realize that mothers in law are mothers too. It is always better to change our presumptions a bit. Instead of having a preconceived view that they are none other than devils in the disguise of women if we open our mind then we will see a brighter side of this debatable relationship. Who knows, your mother in law can become your best friend too and share some of your most precious secrets.
Never forget dates
What matters a lot in every relationship and probably most in this case is dates. Never forget the important dates in the life of your mother in law. For instance, it will be a real pleasure for her if you remember her birthday, anniversary and wish her on that day. A tip for you, she will be flowed on you if you treat her with your hand made recipe on a special day of her life.
Respect earns respect
A golden rule for a good relationship between a mother in law and a daughter in law is that you should give her respect if you wish to create a permanently positive impression in her eyes. At the end of the day nobody gains by being unnecessarily haughty and arrogant. Whether you like it or not but showing respect creates a great deal of impact in certain situations, especially when you are in public. Your mother in law will be overwhelmed with your gesture.
Whenever you meet your mother in law show the warmth you have in you for her. Sometimes you might have to enact as things will never come naturally. But there is no harm in doing a bit of acting if that is for the benefit for a relationship. So, every time you meet her give her a hug or land a kiss on her cheeks to let her know you love her.
Seek her advice and help
An expert advice is that a successful mother in law and daughter in law relationship is possible only when you ask her for your help or seek her advice in something or the other. That way she will feel that her role in your life matters a lot to you. Get her help in managing a household chore you find difficult to do alone or get her advice on the recipe of a particular type of cuisine your husband loves.
Avoid frequent “No”
We understand that it is always not possible to agree to all the wishes of your mother in law. But it is not a right thing either to say “no” frequently. Letting her down every time she wants something from you will only widen the gap between you and make your relationship from bitter to bitterer. So, site a balance. In certain cases if you find it difficult to get things done as she wants then be open and inform her politely the reason behind your “no”.
Do not try to compete
Your mother in law might advice you about your parenting style or how should you take care of your husband. But do not consider her to be your competitor and start off with your own ways by defying her. Do as you find it right but it is clever enough not to give her the hint of your defiance. Behave like an innocent sheep in front of her. She will remain impressed with a faithful daughter in law.