Parenting itself is a challenging job. But don’t you consider that it becomes even more difficult when you are gay couples? Your kid can be subjected to the gravest of challenges when he tries to cope up with the fact that he is not like the others. He will be a victim of social stigma and raised eyebrows since he is a part of a non-traditional family. But, that never implies that you cannot be parents if you are gay couples. Strategic moves and logical measures will help you to handle such issues properly. So, follow the tips we give you and become proud gay parents.
Never hide the origin
Gay couples prefer not to disclose to their kids the truth about their origin. They suffer from a phobia that the kid will misunderstand them or fail to come in terms with the fact that he is a part of non traditional family. But we say that your idea is wrong. Can you hide forever that you are gay? Thus, running away from this practical situation is utter foolishness. Rather, make the kid acquainted with the fact right from the tender age. This will prevent the kid from getting shocked when he discovers one fine morning that his parents are gay.
Strengthen the family bonding
You will be faced with the greatest challenge to prove that your kid is not missing out on anything, being raised in a gay family. Thus, it is integral for you to strengthen your family bond. Increase your frequency of communication with your kid as well as your spouse. Build a transparent relationship in between each one of you. In such as atmosphere the kid too will feel comfortable to share his feelings with you. Consequently, he will never feel that he is deprived of anything being a part of a gay family.
Clear his queries
As your kid grows up he will bombard you with lots and lots of questions. Kids are in general, inquisitive. But be prepared about the fact that your kid will be a bit more inquisitive. You must understand that he is being inquired by his peer too. Therefore, you must provide proper answers to his numerous queries. Even if the question is too embarrassing for you, try to find out an answer that is true, convincing as well as suitable for his age.
Cope your kid to deal with issues
As you are already aware that being gay couples is enough to raise quite a lot of questions, so your kid will not be exempted from that too. So, it is very important for you to make your kid immune to such questions and criticisms without being disheartened. Hence, make him realize from the very childhood that his family will be a source of curiosity for everybody as it is not a typical one. But he should not feel humiliated or inferior about that. Rather, he must appreciate and value the love and affection his nontraditional family shares.
Kids of gay couples often suffer from inferiority complex as they have to face the society which is driven by social stigma. So, your kid too will hate to mix with people fearing the raised eyebrows that he faces quite often. But you need to break this. Help your kid mix freely with people. Take him to your office parties and picnics where nobody has rigidity against your sexual orientation although being straight themselves. When your kid meets such people and their kids, he will realize that he is not an alien at all, but a normal human being with human parents.
Ask your kid about his views on his parents
External sources make the relationship of kids with their gay parents weak. They corrode the minds of the kids in such a way that they develop a sense of hatred against their parents within their minds. But they are too afraid to express anything to their parents due to fear and embarrassment. You should not allow this. Have an open talk with your kid and try to understand his feelings about you and your relationship. Assure your kid that he will not face any negative consequences when he expresses his views. But, have the heart to face and provide logical explanations to questions that might embarrass you.
Test your kid’s situation handling skills
If your kid does not have any problem being raised by gay parents, it does not imply that he is not faced with criticisms at all. You must also know how he copes up with the adverse questions that come his way every now and then. You can do this by role playing with him. Bombard questions at him and see how he tackles them. In case you find you kid finding it difficult to handle certain situations, assist him as to how he will go about it.
Meet other gay couples
It is vital for your kid to realize that he is not put in a unique situation for having gay parents. There are other kids too who belong to gay couples. Therefore, take him to places where he gets chance to interact with gay couples and their kids. Such associations will help your kid cope better with the social stigmas.
Be your kid’s companion
Be your kid’s best friend. Talk to him, spend time with him and enjoy all sorts of fun activities with him. A parental bonding is most successful when kids become friends. The same rule applies for you too. When you become friends with your kid he will never be able to tolerate criticisms against you. Rather, he will cherish the fact that you are his parents. Hence, you can be assured that your kid will never revolt.
Do not try to compensate
Although you might be perfectly happy couple, but you can feel that your kid might not approve of your relationship. Thus, as a resort you might indulge and pamper him unnecessarily and give him whatever he wants. This act is totally erroneous. Indulging your kid might prove you as unsuccessful parents if you are unfortunate. Rather, the best thing will be to behave just like normal parents, leaving aside issues about your nontraditional family structure. Be strict when he commits mistakes and love him when he needs to be rewarded.