If you feel that your marriage is suffering due to your anger, get immediate help to save your relationship. While this primary emotion is present in all of us in varying degrees, you might not know that you become a beast and scare your spouse when you are angry! But the most unfortunate thing about anger is that even if you know that your anger is making your marriage vulnerable, you might find it next to impossible to counter it during those highs. But we have compiled here a number of tips that will help you to overcome anger and make your married life a better one. Take a look!
Take deep breaths during the peak time
As soon as you realize that a situation or a person is stimulating the demon in you to howl and scream like a beast, start taking deep breathes. Concentrate on your breathing pattern as you continue inhaling and exhaling. To be honest, extreme anger is the reflection of weakened self control. So, taking deep breathes in such peak times help you to gain some control over your mind. Consequently, you calm down gradually. Further, when your concentration gets swapped from the source of your discontent to your breathing pattern the intensity of your anger gets decreased automatically without any deliberate knowledge of yours at all!
Count from 1 to 10
This is one of the most primitive and effective practices to counter anger. It is said that every time you are angry the digits from 1 to 10 work as magical weapons in cooling you down. Experts say that when a situation instigates you to become like a fireball, counting 1 to 10 before you blurt out fire serves great in achieving a control on your tongue. Actually, this measure is just a way to cool yourself and regain back your self control so that your language on occasions of anger does not become insulting and abusive towards anybody. Try it out and your married life will get better.
Leave the place before it becomes a hell
If your simplest of strife takes the shape of the nastiest of wars, we opine that it is best to leave the space before things get bitter. Staying in that place, arguing and counter arguing will never solve problems. It will only aggravate the problem and fan your flame of anger.
Act but do not react
You might hardly realize how beastly you become during anger. But the terrorized look in your spouse’s eyes will reveal the vexed side of you. So, when you are not angry, talk to your spouse on this and know how you behave. Practice and learn how to act and not to react during misunderstandings and disagreements. You might not get instant success but if you have the inclination and eagerness things will get better for sure.
Vent your anger on a non living stuff
Your anger might be so damaging that you might always indulge in start slamming doors, crashing dishes and plates and hitting your spouse in your peak of highs. This is extremely insulting for your spouse and he/she may soon move away from you if things go on in this way. So, vent your anger on an inanimate thing rather than making your spouse the victim of vengeance. Leave the room immediately when you are angry and hit a punching bag or a sand bag until and unless you have cooled down.
Reserve your anger for the time being
You might not like a situation or have a serious disapproval about something. But giving you opinion during the peak time might make you angry and incapable of solving the actual problem. Therefore, reserve your opinions for a time when you are cool and relaxed. The beast in you will hardly get any chance to come out! For instance, if you are angry that you spouse arrived late at home, do not start talking on it immediately. Give yourself time and talk on the topic when you are cool.
Those who have uncontrolled anger actually suffer from diminished mental control. So, in order to get over your anger permanently, practice meditation at least ten minutes in a day. This will rejuvenate your mind, help you to improve your self control and think before you act. Your soul and body will also get relaxed. Hence, your married life will improve if you meditate regularly and cast an effective control on your anger.
Know your anger activators
Various people have a specific aversion for something that makes them angry. In your case too, it can be a particular issue of your marriage, your relationship, personal problems and official issues that makes you vexed. It is important for you to identify the anger activators in order to overcome it permanently. If you come across such an activator, divert your attention to something else for the time being. This will curb the intensity of your anger. Say for instance, if your spouse’s unnecessary nagging is your anger activator, turn your attention towards an interesting book or turn on a music you like. This will serve as a great aid in avoiding the irritating behavior of your spouse.
Vent out negative feelings impersonally
Since it is all the more challenging to control your anger and say what you feel, we suggest that choose the impersonal mediums to vent out your negative feelings. Convey your feelings, dissatisfaction and contempt towards your spouse or anybody else by mean of mails and SMSs. Although it might appear ridiculous to you, it will never poke the beast in you as options for discussions and counter discussions will never arise at all. Rather, it will bring about an amicable solution to your problem.
Maintain a personal diary
When your rage gets killing during its highs, your personal diary will be a great aid. Put accounts of your daily life in that diary along with an instance that makes you annoyed. Such a practice will reduce the vengeful intensity of your fury. It will help you to act logically to sort out the problem.