Discovering that your husband is cheating on you can completely break you emotionally. The pain of being cheated can be so strong and unbearable that you might lose your ability to think, decide and act. A range of other emotions can overpower you, making you act hastily and inappropriately. However difficult it might be, you must learn to handle and deal with your cheating husband to gain control on the devastating and hurtful situation.
No impulsive decisions
Being impulsive and taking a hasty decision is but obvious under such circumstances. You might want to immediately quit the relationship or leave the house. But it is advised strongly not to take any decision on the spur of the moment. You need to allow yourself time so that you absorb the shock and are in a better position to think and decide on the entire situation and your course of action.
Be a watchdog
It is important that you monitor his actions and whereabouts so that you gather enough information about his affair to make a wise decision. Instead of moving out and hiring an investigator for the job, you should continue sharing the same roof with him and keep an eye on him yourself.
Maintain secrecy with friends
Be very cautious as to whom you confide in about your husband’s infidelity. You may want to talk to just about anybody who cares to listen to you but make sure that the person you share the details with is trustworthy. While a male friend may want to take advantage of your emotionally fragile condition, a female friend may turn your secret into a juicy gossip. His friends and family may also not be right for confiding in as they might back him, try to cover him, take his side or warn him to be careful.
Accept the truth
It is not an easy task to accept the reality but you have to accept the truth of your husband’s infidelity. Going into a denial mode, ignoring facts or pretending that all is fine in your relationship would only make the situation go out of hand. Your husband may start thinking that he is easily getting away with the cheating and may get a boost to continue the affair. He may also take your behavior as a silent nod to his affair.
Confronting him is must
Confronting your husband about his affair is necessary and you must do it early because with time his attachment with the other woman might become stronger, making it more difficult to revive your marriage. But you must confront your husband with sufficient evidence or else the confrontation would turn futile as he is most likely to deny that he is cheating. After presenting all evidences ask him questions related to this affair that would help you to gauge the situation well and help you to take a decision. Avoid losing temper while confronting him and try to talk to him calmly and listen to his words carefully.
Prioritize your relationship
You must focus on your relationship with your husband and that should be evident when you interact with him. Do not be obsessed about the other woman. Do not drag her name when conversing with your husband and never threat or confront her. This is only going to bring the other woman closer to your husband and things may go out of your hand permanently.
Show him your love
Learn to express your love to your husband in the manner that he would understand and appreciate. Just telling repeatedly that you love him or doing things that makes you feel loved would not do. You must consider doing things by which your husband would feel loved and wanted.
Learn the art of forgiving
It’s true that “forgive and forget” is easy to say than to be done, especially when you have been badly hurt by your husband’s infidelity. You may want to take revenge immediately or keep the resentment inside you and make him feel guilty by reminding him of his past deeds on a later date. But that is no way going to make you feel happy. So, if your husband is repentant for his affair then give him another chance. Forgive him and forget the story.
Remain fit and healthy
Let this incident not damage your life completely. It is important that you take care of your well being. Maintain a healthy lifestyle that includes healthy diet, regular exercise and proper sleep. Be social and spend time with family and friends as well as make new friends. By following all the mentioned strategies you can de-stress yourself, remain healthy and happy.
Review all actions before making a decision
Once you have come to terms with the reality, you would need to take a decision regarding your marriage. Consider your husband’s reaction and views on the entire episode. If he is repentant, has mend his ways, has disconnected with the other woman and is sincerely sorry for causing you the hurt and pain then you can think about reviving the relationship. However, you must remember that broken trust is like a broken mirror that even if you put together does have cracks in it.